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| may 2nd 2005 i received this e-mail recently and found miss catherine's plight so moving i thought i should share it with you, my dear readers. please note - i have changed nothing from the original missive. all extraneous line breaks, misspellings and incorrect grammar are the real mccoy. honestly. i couldn't make this stuff up if i tried. enjoy. From Miss Catherine Casmir. Abidjan. Cote D'Ivoire West Africa Hi I am the only Daughter of my late parents Mr.and Mrs.George D, Casmir. My father was a highly reputable business magnet who operated in the capital of Ivory coast during his days.I am a deaf girl. It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad on the 12th September 2003. Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of mine who travelled with him at that time. But God knows the truth! My mother died when I was just 6yrs old, and since then my father took me so special. Before his death on September 2003, he called me and informed me that he has the sum of Five Million, Seven Hundred thousand United State Dollars.(USD$5,700,000.00)left in fixed deposit account in one of the leading banks in Africa. He further told me that he deposited the money in my name, and also gave me all the necessary but legal documents regarding to this fund with the bank. I am just 21 years old and a university undergraduate and really don't know what to do. Now I want an account overseas where I can transfer this funds and after the transaction I will come and reside permanently in your country till such a time that it will be convinient for me to return back home if I so desire. This is because I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisis here in Ivory coast. The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life. I also want to invest the fund under your care because I am ignorant of business world. I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. Now permit me to ask these few questions: 1. Can you honestly help me from your heart? 2. Can I completely trust you? 3. What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your account? Please, consider this and get back to me as soon as possible. Immedaitely I confirm your willingness, I will send to you my Picture and also inform you more details involved in this matter. Kind Regards, Miss Catherine. may 3rd 2005 i had a long talk with myself last night. it went a little something like this: boy, cara, you are some piece of work. do you mean that in a good or bad way, id? honey, i mean it in every way there is. why, what did i do now? it’s what you ain’t done, sugar, that bothers me. listen, i only have two hands, you know. i can only handle so much. if i was talking about your hands, i’d have to point out that they’re empty, and have been for a long time. but i’m not. i’m talking about your head, and how it’s been too full. you need to clear that out, girl. it’s not doing you any favors. id, what is this nonsense you’re spouting? superego, what are you doing here? i thought you were on vacation. i never go away completely. you know that. now, what’s the problem? id thinks i should let my hair down, go crazy, and submit to my basest desires, right id? yeah, that’s about it. ya gotta admit, superego, she’s a bit, well, stuffy. and i haven’t even touched the control issues yet… you leave that alone. that’s my territory. i’m just saying… okay, stop it you two. if you can’t get along i’m going to have to banish you both. as if you could. right. stuck in the middle. story of my life. stop wallowing. you’re smart, talented, and for the most part morally sound. and sweetie, you got what it takes. that indefinable zing that gets things goin’, if you know what i mean… so what’s the problem again? i mean, if i’m all that? you’re so busy contemplating action that you don’t ever actually go out and do anything. i hate to say it, but i think id is right. let me get this straight. you’re agreeing with id? unprecedented. with some careful planning and certain rules in place, it could be just what you need. listen to you. planning? rules? is that any way to let go? without some guidelines set up things could get messy. yeah, baby. bring it on. stop. just stop. superego, i can’t carefully plan abandon. that's absurd. please, i do it all the time. and id, i’m not about to turn into a hedonistic goddess at the drop of some undies. well why the hell not? mmmm, undies… can we please stay focused? it seems the concern at hand is that i’m… i’m not… exactly. ...enough. ...too much. exactly. how do i, i don’t know, fix it? lover, it can’t be fixed. it is what it is. then what do i do? don’t do. just be. what the hell kind of advice is that? i thought you were supposed to be pragmatic. you’re forgetting my minor in philosophy. shit. exactly. okay, so i’m back to where i started. where was that, again? in the middle. what delicious possibilities… can it. wait a minute, does this have anything to do with my birthday? in a way. and while some might think it gauche, i quite adore the fact that you’re still trying to figure yourself out. yeah, most people stop way earlier than you. is that so? well, bully for me. no need to be snarky, dear. that was a compliment. oh. sorry. not used to that. will you get a load of the humility on this chick? i must repeat: you need to clear that out, girl. it’s not doing you any favors. okay. so i guess we’ll just leave it where it’s at and try again later. i’m spent. that’s what a good internal musing will do to you. besides, i’m almost out of cigs. you should think about quitting, you know. hey, burn ‘em if ya got ‘em, babe. and for what it’s worth, i appreciate both of your… efforts. for what it’s worth, you should. snarkiness abounds. ‘night, id. ‘night, superego. pleasant dreams, child. pleasant, schmeasant. hot, wild crazy dreams… with hot, wild crazy men… engaging in hot, wild crazy… id! sorry. night, cutie. till tomorrow... may 9th 2005 things i experienced today while running errands on my lunch break: 1. the song “i love you always forever” by donna lewis. those of you who remember the song probably wish you didn’t; those who don’t know it, count yourselves among the blessed. the only claim this song has on me is the fact that it was kyle’s and my “song.” i should have known from that alone that we were doomed from the start. kyle was my first boyfriend like, 9-something years ago, and i haven’t heard that song in about as long. blindsided by a decade-old love on a muggy monday mid-afternoon. it’s a wonder i didn’t wreck. 2. a car wreck. nothing serious. but i heard the crunch, looked to the side, and realized i’d been about 5 feet away from getting “involved.” to stop would have definitely gotten me good and wrecked, so i circled around, but by the time i got back they were gone. now i wonder if it wasn’t just a physical manifestation of the end of my relationship with kyle. then again, i could be wrong. but you never know. 3. a fantastic rump in bright yellow knickers. then again, i could be wrong. but you never know. 4. some dangerous cleavage. my new bra and i don’t seem to agree on the proper amount of “lift and separate.” any more lifted and i’d be finding god; any more separated and i’d be tom and nicole. but i get my kicks when and where i can. 5. the smell of freshly laundered clothes. there’s nothing quite like it, and few aromas better. possibly the crook of a man’s neck, or lilacs; although those don’t come around that often, so i get my kicks when and where i can. may 12th 2005 when i was in fourth grade, our class went on a field trip called prairie days. we visited an old one room school house in the middle of nowhere, iowa and spent the whole day learning about life on the frontier (when iowa was “west” and not “middle” america). we were supposed to dress in period clothes, bring a lunch comprised of things children might have eaten in the “olden days” and played games at recess that were popular back then. my mother went all out and actually made me a pioneer dress, purple with little yellow flowers, rick-rack trim and a red felt heart on the bodice. i loved that dress. i loved sitting at the old wooden desk and learning about kids that, although their circumstances were much different, turned out to be much like me. i thought that this was possibly the best day of my life. as the years have flown by, it still ranks in my top five. i’m not sure if that’s where my love affair with history began. but after that day, we were definitely in a committed relationship. the origins of things fascinate me; the etymology of words, the first time someone used an item that is now common place, the forgotten lives of amazing people that accomplished extraordinary feats. i wore that dress until it fell apart. as part of my job, i get to run errands that no one else wants to. i don’t mind this so much, as it gets me out of the office and gives me a break from answering the damn phone. yesterday i was to stop off at the wisconsin state historical society to pick up an archive file on my way to work. i only wish i could have spent more time. one of the things i love most is historic architecture, and this building was chock-full of cornices, archways, mosaic floors, crown molding, plaster ceilings and ornate balustrades. it gave me shivers hearing the click of my shoes traversing the floor, wondering how many others walked in this same spot, what their lives were, their hopes and doubts. it all sounds so horribly cliché, but that’s the kind of gal i am; a certified hallmark commercial weeper. then last night i was watching pbs between loads of laundry, and i happened upon a documentary about a.p. carter, who formed the musical act the carter family during depression era america, and was enthralled enough to let my laundry languish in the washer until the program was done. i won’t go into detail (half the fun is finding this stuff out for yourself), but i was astounded that i never knew who these people were. the founders of country music, basically; maybelle carter was the mother of june carter who married johnny cash. keep on the sunny side and will the circle be unbroken were just two of their many recordings. now, call me a sucker for coincidence, but the night before i had been going through some old photos, finding some prairie days shots, and then the impromptu trip to the historical society followed by the story of an intriguing genius gone astray has me thinking about what’s come before. no real point to this, just astounded by the many worlds left unvisited. in these days of internet and cable and pda’s and cell phones and whatnot, information is supposedly much easier to get at. but who actually takes the time to look for this stuff anymore (besides grad students writing their thesis)? all our technology seems to push us forward, when it might behoove us to take a glance back every once in a while, to chart our course and remind ourselves where we’ve come from. so, i guess a real point after all. take some time, soon, do it, find something out that you didn’t know before, use your brain and delve. i had forgotten about that little red-headed girl in the purple dress, eyes alight with curiosity, looking forwards and back with equal amounts of awe. it was nice to meet her again. that’s all. class dismissed. |
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| may 05 blog |
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| it's always good to visit the past... i just wouldn't want to live there. |
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